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The experiences that we go through shape us. First of all, I would like to start this by acknowledging that marriage is a beautiful thing but of course its not always going to be pretty. Sometimes it may feel like a battlefield while at other times, you will feel like you are flying in the sky. But, it definitely teaches you a lesson that will shape you into the person you become just like any other relationship in your life. Marriage teaches us about understanding, listening, acceptance, empathy, communication, vulnerability, honesty, trust, commitment and that’s just to name a few. Social media and TV shows display relationships in a way that is just unrealistic. On TV, we usually see that love is all you need and that its enough but the reality is that it’s not.

I believe that a person that truly loves is honest, trustworthy, respectful, committed and tries to communicate, etc. When someone gives you their trust, their time, their energy and you do so in return, you fall deeper and deeper for that person. However, if you are the only one that is giving your all then you may find your love slowly disappearing. Then you will come to realize that just hearing “I love you” is not enough.

I see marriage as this house that the two partners are trying to build. If you want it to last years, then the foundation has to be strong. You both have to have the same vision for that house, at times you may want to use certain materials while your partner does not and that’s when you need to compromise for the bigger picture. It’s not about who gets to choose more but it’s about whether or not you both will get to build that house together and how strong it will be. Will it be able to stand on its own when its windy outside or will it fall as soon as the wind blows?

So when you decide to get married, ask yourself if the two of you have the same vision in life? Do you both want the life that you have been dreaming about for years or do you just want to go with the flow? Most importantly, decide for yourself what are the most important traits that you and your partner must adhere to in your marriage. If you are the only one who cares about honesty, trust, commitment, and communication but your partner not so much, maybe its time you have a talk about these topics. Last but not least, value your worth, your values and beliefs and do not compromise the things that make you who you are because the right person will cherish that about you.

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